Category — Communication

I’m participating in a Project Management Bootcamp, put on by the Bryant University Executive Development Center.

It validates all of the things about my life that love order and rule.

It’s going to throw a wrench in the works.

I ask a lot of questions.

Both because I want to know everything and because I want to have the answer to everything.  These things are related.

I want to know everything because it’s interesting to me.  I want to have the answer to everything because I love to be right.  About just about anything.

I have no problem telling you that I don’t know what that $.5o word you just used means.  Or that $.05 word.  And I will tell you to shut up and stop making fun of me for not knowing and tell me the damn definition already.  I have no stuff about it.  I don’t feel less smart for not knowing. 

I do feel smarter and better for not giving a shit about if you think I’m a moron and just asking.

Two of my favorite people in the world like to make up the answers to things.  They are both very believable.  This is a problem for me.  Especially because I am gullible.  I will believe you if you tell me something ridiculous, unless I know it is untrue, or it goes against something else I know to be a truth.

I will ask them if they are full of shit.  Usually, they tell me the truth.

Asking is one of Dumb Little Man’s list of 9 Things You Can Do To Increase Your Income - Today. Read the whole post here.

1. Wake up early.
2. Practice and improve your speaking skills.
3. Sharpen your analytical knife.
4. Ask.
5. Focus.
6. Spend less.
7. Increase your documentation habit.
8. Review meaningful stuff in a meaningful way.
9. Take your best shot first.

I just read a post over at DailyWritingTips about if a fiction writer should be allowed to write in a gender that he/she doesn’t generally identify him/herself to be a part of. 

W.T.F. (Maeve, the writer of A Writer Can be Anyone or Anything, agrees.  Perhaps a bit more diplomatically.)

First of all, I’m slightly annoyed at the fact at the implication that a writer should have to expose his/her gender when writing. 

Huh?

And then the idea that you can only write what you know.

The idea that you have to choose a gender to write is absolutely ludacris.

Again, W.T.F.

I’ve heard it said that one of the great parts of having a dog is that every day, when you get home, you’re a celebrity. The dog will jump all over you, thrilled to see you.

Perhaps there’s something to be said for doing the same for humans.

As Steven from The Sneeze talks about in his Valentine’s post:

A long time ago when my wife was my girlfriend and we were LIVING IN SIN, a tradition was born. I’d like to now share it with you all.

I came home from work one day and found her in front of the computer. I said “Hello,” and she barely grunted back. I don’t even think she looked up.

Half-jokingly I responded, “Okay, we’re gonna try this again.” I walked out the front door and came back in a few moments later…

“STEVIE’S HOME, STEVIE’S HOME!!! YAY!!!” was the new over-the-top cheer I was greeted with. It was accompanied by a hug and kisses. And I loved it.

What began as a joke quickly became an ongoing practice that continues to this day in our house: The person who is home first must make a small fuss when the other person gets there.

Does it sound silly? Yes. Do I promise that it will set the tone for a nicer evening just about every time you do it? Yes.

The world is full of douchebags, guys. Take 3 seconds out of your precious day to make a fuss over each other. Do it like you mean it. Do it as a goof. Just do it a lot.

I’m promise you’ll be glad you did.

I found these online…

Perhaps all things should have sarcasm-laden disclaimers. Apparently the one on the top left is a real one (click the link above to read more about that), the others are for entertainment and general making-fun-of the creationist ridiculousness.

Maybe it would be a good idea to make some to stick on humans humans:

This person is ego-centric. But you decide. Spend some time with him/her and see if you get to talk about anything other than how great he/she is.

This person is a downer. Hang out with him/her and see for yourself if you don’t want to run away screaming.

This person is full of crap. Believe what he/she says at your own peril. Repeat it to others and watch their reactions to gauge if what you’ve been told is a bunch of horse shit.

This person is smart. Way smarter than you are. Give it a minute, he/she will be sure to point out to you just how stupid you can be.

My friend Ellison asked why I don’t change my Google chat status.

It’s because this is what I would put:

I see your butt.

I can’t hear on the phone.

It’s lunch time.

I wouldn’t be original about it at all.

Penelope Trunk is a Strip Blogger. At least according to Jonathan Fields. (So are a few other folks, including Naomi Dunford over at IzzyBiz, which I so enjoy.)

She writes about her recent trip to the divorce mediator:

At this point, I think my husband is going to tell the mediator about how he gave up his career for the kids and me and he is totally disappointed. But instead he says to me, “A lot of people I talk with say that I am being abused by you.”

I am shocked. It’s a big allegation. But I say, “A lot of people I talk with think I should get rid of you.”

There is no way I have that kind of chutzpah. 

I talk a big, loud, decent game, but when it comes down to it, I’m sort of a wimp. 

I’m trying to be less wimpy.

Folks reading this, I suppose, will be the judge of that, over time.

For my friends who never believe me when I tell them not to use this phrase (from http://www.meghan-mccarthy.com/articles_sayings.html):

Rule of Thumb -No, this phrase is definitely NOT “P.C”! Who knew? “Rule of thumb” derived from the days when woman were sometimes beaten with a switch. To be “kind” the switch could not be thicker than a thumb’s width. This was made law in 1782 when an English judge stated that men were allowed to beat their wives but that the stick could not be thicker than one’s thumb.

A few years ago, I started to write a book.  Or something that might one day turn into a book.  But I lost my drive.

Part of it was that I was scared.  What if I wrote this thing, and it actually got published, and people I know actually read it, and they thought it was stupid. Or poorly written. Or a waste of their time. 

Or worse, what if they read it and thought all of those things, and I didn’t know it?

Writing is scary.  Some people write journals.  But there’s always that wonder, that fear, that someone might find it one day.  Even if you’re writing fiction, or semi-fiction, if you’re not ready for the world to see something and it gets out there?   And really, it might.

But who gives a sh*t? 

Unfortunately, I do.  When I was writing, I was worried all the time that once I was done, people would read it, specifically my friends who I would look to for advice, direction, opinions, and they would think

Stupid.

There’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back.

Who cares?

Why did she write this?

Those are the reactions that would keep me up at night.

Granted, they are different than the reactions that the journal-writer fears, but they are based on the same concept. 

Fear that someone is going to read it and see something about me that I don’t want them to see.

But I figure it’s time to get over it. It’s time to bite the proverbial bullet and give myself a kick in the creative ass and see if I can’t get the book done. 

Who knows if it will ever go anywhere.  And who knows if it’s any good.  Or if it will ever be any good.  I hope it is.  I hope it will be.  But I’m never going to find out if it’s good, or stupid, if I don’t do it.

If you’ve read my About, you know this blog was created to give me a little jump start, to get the creative juices going and my fingers moving.  Hopefully it will translate into something that looks like, to me anyway, a finished product. 

If nothing else, I’ll write more, I’ll think more, I’ll read more.  That’s a good thing.

I recenly found this online - The Happiness Project - and decided to take part. If you are interested, here are The Guidelines

1. How do you define happiness?
   My definition of happiness has to do with satisfaction.  Feeling like you’ve done a good job, made someone’s day, enjoy your life. 
2. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your happiness now, versus when you were a child?
   As a child, I wondered a lot why the other kids were happier than I was.  So, perhaps as a child I would have been around a 5. Up until recently, I hadn’t gotten much higher than that 5.  I was content. Definitely not satisfied.  Now, I am satisfied.  With my life, with my work, with my relationship. Now, I’d give it an 8.5
3. What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness? (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day)
   Every day, I try to remember how good I have it.  I have a nice place to live, food, a great job, wonderful friends and a fantastic relationship.  It’s a pretty consistent feeling, now that I’ve found it.  Actively thinking about all of those things makes me smile.  The most tangible form of happiness.
4. What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?
   The primary detractor of my happiness is me.  I allow people to upset me, situations to get me riled up… letting things make me nuts is my biggest downfall. It’s also the reason for the biggest dips in my happiness scale.  What do I do to lessen the impact?  Deep breaths, remember that everything is relative, and attempt to get a grip.
5. What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?
   Try to keep on with the things I’ve found that make me happy.  To remember how much I enjoy my life and the people in it, and actively take a part in cultivating those things. 

I work for a web firm.

Somehow, this means to everyone in my life that I am their personal Geek Squad.

For my friends who wonder about things and think I know the answers, here is a good tutorial I found on Google Tutor on how to Clear Google Search History to Maintain Your Privacy:

In Internet Explorer

The search history that displays in the search box on the Google homepage is stored by your browser, not by Google. You can clear the history or disable this feature entirely by following these steps:

1. Go to the “Tools” menu
2. Select “Internet Options”
3. Select the “Content” tab
4. Within the “Personal Information” area, select “AutoComplete”
   • To clear the current history, click on “Clear Forms”
   • To disable this feature entirely, uncheck the “Forms” box

You can also delete individual entries from your search history by using the Down arrow key to highlight a previous search and then pressing the Delete key.

Read the complete post if you use Firefox…

This is my biggest flaw.  Well, my biggest flaw that I am willing to admit right this second. 

According to Dumb Little Man (loving him lately), in his article Becoming a Better Listener

Avoid Planning Counterarguments: It is a natural response to automatically start planning a counterargument as soon as something is mentioned. As hard as it may seem, don’t. Mentally record your disagreement and formulate a response later after the whole message has been received.

If I could turn my brain off while the other person is talking (well, not totally, just the part that is planning the counterattack… the listening part can stay on) I would be a much more reasonable human.

I’ve been working toward being a more reasonable person, all around.  It’s hard, when you grew up in a world where someone was right, just because.  It’s one of the downfalls of being told how fantastic and smart you are all the time by your parents.

You’re convinced you know everything.

Orbit Gum’s new commercial for cleaning a dirty mouth.

Another stellar word(s) of the day.

Just wait until the next installment of Google Chat Status…

Pavlov’s Dawg.

Now that’s quality thinking.

Says Jocelyn Macedo, in her post on the HR geek blog.

What are YOU doing to develop your career

1. Don’t overcomplicate it.
2. Don’t be a victim - take charge.
3. Step One: Self awareness.
4. Get out of your comfort zone.
5. Learn how to Team.
6. Don’t hold back - Be transparent.
7. Manage your brand.
8. Every day is an interview.

I think #3 is most important. Personally and professionally.

I had a long conversation with a relative the other day about her less than thrilled response to other folks’ behavior. I told her that is was her own expectations that were disappointing her. She said I should stop blaming her. I’m not blaming her, I’m asking her to take responsibility for her role in the disappointment. If you want to have a relationship with someone whose behavior you don’t like, you don’t have a lot of options, short of telling them they suck, or sucking it up yourself and learning to deal with the behavior.

Now, I don’t think that you have to deal with all of the sucky people of the world, and put up with being treated like a doormat. But if there is that person that you just can’t let go of, and they insist on being an Asshat (ha! I knew I’d get to use it!) you just have to let it go. Or change your mind and let them go.

Or tell them they suck and hope for the best. Chances are, though, someone has told them they suck before…

My generation is probably the first set to be glued to the tube. Most of us had cable when we were little, or little-ish. And many of us had Atari (I bought my own with my allowance when I was 8… LOVE Pole Position) and all of us had Nintendo. The first one. The kind where if the game wasn’t working right you took out the game, which sort of looked like an 8-Track tape, and blew into the open end. Ostensibly to get the dust out. I’m sure the spittle did wonders for the game’s longevity.

Now, there’s ten different options. Sega, Nintendo, Wii, PlayStation… Not to mention the multitude of online gaming options, alternate universes and other simulation-type interfaces.

But that’s not my point. My point is Facebook and MySpace and Linkedin and Twitter and Friendster (sadly, seemingly at the bottom of the online persona heap of late).

My generation LOVES these things. We try to have more “friends” than anyone else. And the generation after mine, the one that doesn’t understand life without a mobile phone, email and a computer? They’re the worst. So far.

I don’t really understand where one generation ends and the next one picks up, so there might even be a budding tertiary set of MySpace wannabes.

But its those folks in the middle that are pushing up against my peers and down on their followers-to-be that are running this privacy-reduced, openness-centered revolution. (I totally stole this sentiment from a CSI rerun I watched last night.) They post what they are doing for the world to see by the moment. They drive sales of texting packages and the Wii-in-every-room-in-the-house mentality.

My generation was the seed. Most of us got an email address when we got to college and were expected to type everything (can you imagine back to the dark ages when people actually hand wrote their term papers?)

But for many of us, that’s where it ends. We like PlayStation and email… and perhaps participate in an online forum. The more advanced track of us have online identities. But we’ll never be the people who post to our Twitter account or update out Linkedin profile before we actually pick up the phone to hear the voice of our childhood friends. Well, most of us anyway…

I’m fascinated by the idea that online gaming leads to increased tech savviness (another TV nod… I got this line of thinking from a NUMB3RS episode I watched last night… big Friday, lots of DVR action). The idea is that folks who aren’t plugged in can get there through their use of gaming technology. But I suppose that’s where LeapFrog comes in for the little people of the world. Saturate their little minds with technology and they’ll never be afraid of what possibilities can be…