[via Joe. My. God.: Yes, I'm Running For Mayor, But Let's Start With My Original Song About Jeebus]

We’re building a house in Parker, or, as people who live in Denver like to say, out in Parker. Apparently it’s the end of the earth.

I was talking last night with a friend who lives in Evergreen. Which is sort of like the other end of the earth. At least as far as my Rhode Island-distance trained  brain is concerned.

For the RIers in the crowd: Parker is like Barrington. Evergreen is like Exeter.

Really, they might as well be on different continents.

Deep breath.

Actually, it’s not so bad. I’ve become accustomed to the longer travel for just about everything here in CO. I mean, in RI, you don’t drive an hour to hang out with friends on a school night! Here, no biggie. It’s a strange land, folks.

However, some data mining tells me that it is almost EXACTLY the same distance from our new house in Parker, CO to their house in Evergreen, CO as it was from my house in Providence, RI to Liv’s house in Boston, MA. Crazy, huh?

Providence to Boston - ~42.4 mi (about 51 minutes)

Parker to Evergreen - 41.2 mi (about 52 minutes)

Well, against him, anyway.

I remember when Megan and I became friends, George had a little anal gland issue. Not being a dog person, I was appropriately repulsed by both the concept and the resulting stink.

Today is Jake’s 4th day with us, and on the 4th day, the dog began to smell like fish.

He also had a newfound interest in licking his ass. Now I remember Sox, my ex’s somewhat evil cat, liked to lick her own ass, and have observed this in other cats. But dogs? I’d only seen them sniff each other’s asses. Never their own.

Look at me, learning new things.

So I called Megan, who told me it was normal and that she was busy working and couldn’t talk to me about Jake’s ass issues.

So I turned to Google. I mean, who do you ask, if you can’t ask your partner? That’s right, Google.

Google told me it is normal and that I might want to express his glands (not gonna happen, ever.)

In the amount of time it has taken me to write this on my iPad (I’m still not that great with the typing on this thing) Jake has ceased the ass licking and the smell is dissipating.

So, no expressing for today. I think that’s going to be solidly Megan’s job.

YouTube – Biker Chicz TV Series – Dawn Hawkins Interview.

YouTube – “Biker Chicz” TV Series Trailer June 2010.

Krista and Bryan filled with pre-Vegas optimism

In celebration of our friend Krista’s 30th birthday, we spent 4 days in Las Vegas, with her, her husband Bryan, the Big Man, and Little Justin.

Day 1 – Arrival

The boys started their vacation celebrating early in the airport bar just shy of 8a – showing some restraint, Megan and I waited for our first going to Las Vegas cocktail until we were actually on the plane.  Upon arrival in Las Vegas, we got taken for a ride (literally) by a limo driver who tried his best to get us to go over the prepaid hour.

Up, up, and away!

We stayed at New York New York, which was different than the last time I was there. I remember live music, and a much more lively atmosphere and was a bit disappointed to find that it was a bit more low-key than I’d recalled. They do have some great pizza and other easy but not fast food options.

We were early to check in and set out on a quest for the cheapest craps tables on the strip. The croupiers at New York New York sent us next door to Excalibur for $5 tables, and Megan and I started off the trip with a moderate gain – the only one we’d make for the trip.

Bryan, Megan and Krista at Excalibur

After checking in, we realized that the Big Man and Little Justin had a minor hotel room snafu – one king bed instead of 2 queens. The boys were less than thrilled with the snuggling option, and camped out in our room until the situation could be rectified. Little Justin, having worked 3rd shift the night before, was out like a light across our bed, snoring away within minutes.

We left him there and headed out to Hard Rock Cafe for some burgers and beverages, and then back to Excalibur to give them back the money we’d won that afternoon. Like the true old ladies that we are, we were in bed by 11p.

Big Money, No Whammies!

Day 2 was more gambling, more eating, and some moderate drinking. I’m a 2 beer queer, and I’ll never try to keep up with the big boys. We walked down to Bellagio to see the fountains and had some tasty Mexican at a restaurant across the street, the name of which escapes me. Officer(s) friendly wouldn’t let me make off with one of their pint glasses for my collection and they didn’t sell them. Damn good guys.

The Big Man did well with the roulette wheel, but the rest of us got our asses handed to us at the tables. Our best efforts to stay awake and live up the Vegas experience still had us in bed by 1:30a.

Enjoying our complimentary beverages in the Irish Pub

Rapid Craps

After a day in old Vegas, playing at the Golden Nugget and El Cortez (cheap craps tables, but terrible smoke eaters – I felt like I was choking to death,) we took another walk down the strip.

Megan and I played craps at Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall, where they have the first of its kind Rapid Craps tables. You roll real dice, but the betting takes place on a series of individual terminals. Rapid it’s not. I think Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall employs the craps dealers who couldn’t make it anywhere else. With only 2 at the table (as opposed to the traditional 4) everything took forever. Game play stopped every time someone wanted to put more cash on their machine or to cash out.

At $3, it’s the cheapest craps on the strip, but it lacks the interaction of a traditional table. There’s no yelling, the energy level is a whole different game. With the exception of the real dice, you may as well be playing online at home by yourself. Except slower. Oy.

Little Justin, sans shirt

Bribery Works

We met up with the rest of the group at Treasure Island, where Little Justin rode the mechanical bull – with his shirt off. It was worth all $20 ($10 for the ticket and $10 to bribe the very attractive woman running the machine to convince him to take his shirt off.) She took a liking to him, asking if he’d done PX90 (why does everyone get that wrong?) and getting his number before we headed on our way.

They don’t have tall people in Ireland

Our final stop as a group was Coyote Ugly. Megan and I had been to the one here in Denver during road trip #1, and it’s a totally different experience. Las Vegas Coyote Ugly is tiny, with much more of a nightclub atmosphere. It had all of the traditional Coyote high points – the girls danced on the bar, invited ladies up to dance with them, showered us with water from the soda guns, and encouraged bra tossing.

The Big Man made friends with some Irish fellows who just couldn’t get over how tall he is, and he made a rather excellent spectacle of himself, encouraged by the bartenders, doing the Carlton. The Irish boys got themselves into some big trouble, spraying their beers all over the bartenders during their dance, and were promptly walked out of the bar by the bouncer who is likely largest man in existence.

Megan and I headed back to Excalibur to lose the remainder of our gambling purse, and then headed to bed – making it to 2:30a this time.

Done.

The next morning, we were all a little rough. 4 days is enough Vegas. Too much food, too much beer, too much gambling, and way too much second-hand smoke. Way too much.

Any one of them alone wouldn’t have kicked me in the pants quite so hard, but the smoke – that pushed me over the edge. I don’t know how I smoked for so many years.

I sort of feel like I’ve been run over by a Mac truck. But that’s how 4 days in Vegas is supposed to work out, right?

Happy Birthday, Krista!

Facebook has a unique feature where they will memorialize the profile of a deceased account holder. When a profile is memorialized, only current friends will be able to locate it in a search. However, a beautiful feature available is that Facebook will leave the profile wall active so friends can stop by and leave messages on the wall in remembrance.

via What Happens to Your Social Media Accounts When You Die? | Une Belle Vie Cremation Blog.

I worked in HIV prevention for almost 10 years before getting into the web world. The AIDS walk, the AIDS ride – the underlying message and reason for it all – still gets me every time. (Seriously, I’m a big ol’ mess.)

Enjoy the cute boys!

Dawn - our badass biker chick friend

Which is why I’m sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see if this makes waves in reality TV land:

Eight members of a Boston area all female motorcycle club called the East Coast Biker Chicks, will soon be featured in a new television series. Filming for the Biker Chicz docu-reality series is scheduled to start on June 19th during the annual Laconia Bike Week in Laconia NH, and continue in eastern Massachusetts throughout the summer.

via Biker Chicz TV Series Begins Filming at Laconia – Cruiser Industry News – Motorcycle USA.

Pictured here, which is how the show came to my attention in the first place, is an old friend from in RI. I can’t wait to see what happens next.