I Can See!

Wednesday, I took a half day and spent the afternoon with clamps over my eyeballs. No, not the whole time, but yes, really.

Megan had Lasik done a few months ago and has been boasting about it ever since.

We have a flex (or cafeteria) plan at work, and I knew that I was going to have it done this year, so that worked well to offset a big chunk of the cost.

Depending on what special is being run, it’s about $2,000 – $2,500 per eye – I would definitely wait until your local Lasik center is having a sale to jump on the Lasik train. We saved over $1,000 with a special that was being run for November. Good stuff.

I’ve gotten about a million requests for my take on the whole thing, so here’s the detailed experience. Some of it is kinda gross. Consider yourself warned.

Pregame

On Monday, I went in for a 1.5 hour pregame consult. They looked in my eyes. They dilated my pupils. They gave me some hot glasses to wear home. They told me the numbers. All very exciting.

The 20/20 Institute, where both Megan and I were treated, is pretty swank. There are a couple of sitting areas with chairs that are actually comfortable. Both have huge-screen TVs… one with some DVD sitcom – Friends… That 70s Show, that kind of thing – and the other with something a bit more chill. I think it was a Pavarotti concert when we were there on Wednesday. They have wireless Internet access for the caregivers who are there for about 1.5 hours while their person is being treated on the actual day, a sweet Starbucks machine, and cold beverages and snacks up the wazoo.

I walked out with the assurance that I was a good candidate for the procedure, and a price tag that we could live with.

The big day

Wednesday was the big day. We arrived early (surprise) and they were able to get me in a  bit before my scheduled appointment.

There was more peering into my eyeballs, a crap-load of drops, and some forms to sign… both the money forms and the I know what I’m getting myself into forms.

They shuttled us into the pre-op room, where I was beginning to get a bit woozy from the Halcion (it’s sort of like low-grade Valium), and suited me up in a bonnet and booties.

Once I was sufficiently relaxed, I was led into the operating room, which has big windows all around so folks can watch (yes, anyone), and a TV that shows just the eyeball that’s being worked on, magnified.

Now, I made the poor choice to watch on the TV when Megan has hers done, so I had a good idea what things like the flap were. Note to self: don’t watch in advance. It makes it worse when they’re actually sticking things in your eyes and you can remember what that looked like from the outside.

Surgery

One of the techs gave me two squishy eyeballs to hold – a wonderful thing. I had them mashed in my hands the whole time. It’s one of those little things that totally made the difference.

At this point, I had been given multiple doses of numbing drops, and my eyes were pretty funny feeling. The doctor came in, patched my left eye, and put some tape above and below my right eye. Next, he used a clamp to hold my eye open. Not comfortable, but not horrible. Very strange feeling. You can see everything but can’t feel any of it. They’re putting drops in, poking at the eye, and you can’t feel any of it, but you can see all of it.

They put a machine on the eye that creates the flap (seriously, Google it if you must, but it’s yucky), and the doctor uses something that looks an awful lot like a dental tool to move the flap back.  The big moment is when the laser comes in, and basically fries off part of your cornea. It smells like burning hair. Nobody told me this part. It’s gross. But worth it. I mean, a few minutes of discomfort and some stink in exchange for years of no glasses or contacts? Worth it.

You can hear what’s going on around you… the doctor and the techs talking about the procedure. Announcing flap done, 20 seconds, things like that… but you’re pretty druggy and foggy and it’s over before you know it.

When it was over, they led me into a recovery room – basically a small office with nice chairs – and had me sit for a few minutes (I really have no ideal how long, it could have been 10 or 30.) Megan was a trooper through the whole thing, trying her very best not to laugh at me.

Recovery – the first night

We headed home, and I was put straight to bed, and slept until 10p – about 5 hours.  There were some awesome goggles involved to make sure I didn’t claw my eyes while asleep or give any good knuckle rubs.

I woke up starving, and Megan – wonderful wife that she is – had gone out and brought back some delicious noodle dish from a Thai restaurant. I chowed and was ready for bed again with another Halcion (doctor’s orders).

The next morning

I had a follow up the next day – Thanksgiving – and drove myself there. I can see! I had a little discomfort in my right eye, and some light sensitivity, but other than that, all’s well. That next morning, I could see 20/20 out of one eye and 20/30 out of the other. I’m told both eyes will continue to get a bit better day-by-day for the next month or so.

2 days out

Today is even better than day one. I can see better than I could with glasses or contacts, and it’s pretty awesome not to have little potato chips in my eyes.

I have some mild discomfort in my right eye still, but it’s less than it was yesterday, and the doctor says it’s normal.

So for all of you who’ve asked: yes, I’d recommend it. No, it doesn’t really hurt. Yes, it’s totally worth it!