Queercents has this question:
Should You and Your Partner Open a Joint Checking Account?
I just recently opened a joint checking account with my soon-to-be wife. It’s the second in my life… the first one, with my former partner, remains empty and unclosed, though they tell me that it will “close itself” eventually. Mmmm… I’m still waiting for the miracle to occur. They won’t close it for me. We would have to appear in person, together, to have it manually closed. Seriously? I’ll wait. Forever if I have to.
Queercents recommends against my financial decision. They caution, quoting Dr. Phil, that my partner and I might have disparate spending habits, or perhaps, break up.
I disagree. (Of course I do, I’m madly in love and she’s perfect, right? Well, yes, but that’s not why…)
I think spending habits are on the same page with fidelity of other sorts. It should be discussed, and mutually agreed-upon. It should be a negotiation, not something we avoid out of fear. You should decide together if a joint checking account is right for you… or a joint anything, for that matter.
I’ll give it to them. It pisses me off to no end that my credit could hang in the balance of what my ex could potentially do. But then, she’d be doing it to her credit as well, something she wouldn’t willingly shit upon.
I choose to live looking forward, believing in the person next to whom I’ve chosen to stand for my forever. With a nationally recognized marriage off in the distance, how far we can only guess, there are certain concrete steps we can take to acknowledge our relationships publicly, and two names on a check is just one of them.
I don’t know what bank you had your previous joint checking account at, but at BofA, I was able to close both of my joint accounts with my ex- without us having to appear together. The philosophy, they explained, was that either of us was the “owner” of the accounts and, therefore, could make decisions about closing the accounts without the other person. I now have a joint checking account with my sister because we own some vacation property together, but even that made me a little bit queasy. I agree, however, everyone has to decide what they are comfortable with. All the best!