Early on, I knew that Megan was the one.
We’d known each other well for several years prior to becoming an item – and she knew all of the good, bad, and ugly of my most recent relationship. But I’d not met any of her exes – she’d been flying solo for a good bit of time before moving to Colorado.
A few months in, we did the relationship review. The part where you talk about who you’ve been with and all of the good and not-so-good things things that transpired. You talk about what you learned about yourself and the kind of person you want to be. And the kind of person you want to be with.
That realization – the kind of person you want to be with – it can be hard-fought.
I was a day shy of 30 when Megan and I began our life together. I had no illusions that I was the first person at whom she’d stared adoringly. That she’d never dreamed of white picket fences and a life with someone else. I am not her first love.
In the Chicago airport, returning from Colorado – back to RI, when we were working on the long-distance thing – I found the perfect card.
I don’t need to be your first love, but I want to be your last.
It’s scary to lay your cards on the table, say this is it, I’m all in.
I spent almost 8 years thinking I had both feet in. In reality, I was just standing on one foot. Unbalanced and unsure. My ex was always, as she would say, waiting for the other shoe to drop. In retrospect (which we all know is 20/20), I didn’t put that other foot down, because I wasn’t sure of my footing.
A balancing act teaches you a lot about yourself. About how long you can stand it. About what things you need to maintain that balance. About what things can tip the scales entirely.
Megan tipped my scale. On its head.
It’s been 9 months since we got married. Last Friday, my name change became legal – I’m now, as one friend said – officially hers. We now have a family name, an arduous but rewarding task.
My cards are on the table. Both feet are in the pool. She is remarkable and I’m thrilled to be her last love.
This post was inspired by my lovely wife Megan, and my friend Erika, who was apparently reading my mind this morning.









I am so glad that you have found your “last love”:) (That is such a wonderful way of putting it!) And while some say the name shouldn't matter, for now society says it does, so congratulations on your family-ness:)
I'm all choked up now. Great words. Wonderful picture.
Congrats to you both!
I can't believe I missed this post, Elisa. I adore spending time with you and Meg and it's clear you've found completion in one another. What else can we ask for?
Both feet in – it's the only way you'll ever get anywhere in the pool. I'm glad something I said rang true with you and thanks for making me a part of your life. You two make me think
Thanks, Shev!
Thanks – many of my oldest friends are having a hard time adjusting to the change. Good to know that some people I've known FOREVER can make the leap.
Thanks Erika. I'm glad I stalked you on Twitter and convinced you to be my friend.
[...] Life’s short. Make sure you’re waking up next to the right someone. [...]