A Question of Perspective

My Thoughts on a Christian Perspective

by Elisa Hebert on October 4, 2008

in Perspectives

I have a Google Alert for, “perspective,” and today, How Not to Get Divorced some thoughts from a Christian perspective « Longing for a Holiday at Sea popped up in my email.

I read somewhere on someone’s blog a discussion about finding “the one,” the perfect soul mate, the right choice so that we can live life happily ever after.

Forgive me for my cynicism, but I am not sure that the point of marriage is to live happily ever after. I wonder: if more Christians got a different point of marriage, would there be less divorce among us?

How Not to Get Divorced some thoughts from a Christian perspective « Longing for a Holiday at Sea.

I have some baggage about devout Christian belief (or devout bordering on fundamentalist belief of any kind), and/or the proselytizing thereof… a product of my sister and her husband being very attached to their faith, and their belief that that faith, and God, is the reason for everything, and their reason to doing anything they do.

Now, I don’t really believe that anyone, them included, has the ability to be thinking of God at all times.  Whoever that God is.  There are just times where S/He isn’t right there in the front of your brain.  But then again, there are few times that I think of God in any way other than relative to the impact on my relationships other folks’ faith has had. And usually, it’s not a good one.

Believing in God is a wonderful thing.  I just don’t really care to hear about your personal relationship with Him/Her/It/Etc.

In addition to all that hooey, I don’t actually agree with the author over there at Longing for a Holiday at Sea. I think we all have the ability to find our

“the one,” the perfect soul mate, the right choice so that we can live life happily ever after.

I think you just have to be willing to stick your neck out there are take a gander.  And I think that comments like that are only born of people who have not found their “one”… though I do believe that you can live forever in a loving bond with someone who is not that person… it’s just way less fantastic.

But I do believe that anyone who is interested in putting their thoughts out there has value… as long as they aren’t outright lying or being a mean, nasty asshole.  (The “Is he/she a mean, nasty asshole?” question is sometimes a wide net, depending on my mood at the moment.)

  • I think god prefers the gender neutral pronouns Ze and Hir.
  • Sheryl
    When I was little, I was forced to go to church. A lot. Several times a week. My parents still got divorced. And, that turned out just great and set my life on a whole different path. My mother tried to make it work, and even tried to question the pastors at church about pressing theological questions, but they were unable to minister to her in an effective way that made sense. They thought she was a troublemaker for asking so many questions. So, I have trouble with religion, but not spirituality or even the idea of god. Sometimes (like on bad flights) I pray even though I'd say, if pressed, that I am an agnostic or, possibly, a bright ( http://www.the-brights.net ) except that I think that what we call mysticism, or the supernatural, is just science we don't understand, or are not equipped to process. Maybe that makes me a bright (hate the term) maybe it doesn't.

    Anyway, I had all kinds of negative reactions while reading How Not to Get Divorced, but I read it all. I could go on and on -- and you know what that's like -- but, really, it just sounds as though the writer of that post prefers to get through the grit and reality of another human being by relying on a third party (in this case god). If a person gets married to get closer to god, I think they'd be better served (and serve better) by joining a convent or monastery or mission. Because the connection with another person is the miracle.

    That's the deal, IMHO.
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