Weight Watchers

So I’ve been going to Weight Watchers meetings.  I’m coming out about it.

I’m a little self-conscious about it, but I’ve decided to bite the bullet and just say it. Oy.

My most recent weekly meeting had me a little bit irritated.

The process works if you actually do it. (It works if you work it… keep it simple… one day at a time… they’re all the same…)

I like the group I attend.  I chose it pretty carefully.  On a Sunday morning, so folks who might be inclined to go to church would already be there.  In a town where I don’t know anyone.

I get there early.  Big surprise.

I weigh in… down a bit, which is exciting.

And then I sit down to read the cute little booklet they give you every week.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see three other people in the room.  A woman I think of as The Complainer, and another woman I have never see who I now think of as The Bitch.  The Bitch has a kid with her… probably 12 or 13 years old. A girl.  Overweight, tom-boyish (not that I know anything about that), close to as bitchy as her mother.

The Complainer always has a reason why Weight Watchers isn’t working for her… she can’t eat too much fish because of the mercury.  She can’t exercise because her joints hurt. She can’t have too much water because of her kidneys.  She can’t eat balanced meals because she eats at her workplace.  Lots of excuses and complaining.

The Bitch I’ve never seen before. Their conversation goes something like this (they’re talking about me):

The Bitch: Who’s that?

The Complainer:She’s stoopit. (She has a wicked RI accent.)

The Bitch: I thought you had to be overweight to go to WW.

The Complainer: Yeah.

The Bitch: I just got back from vacation… I need to do something.  I want that scale down NOW.

And on and on and on.  Now, I’m not huge, but I am definitely overweight. 

And really, I don’t go to WW for The Bitch or The Complainer.  I go for me.

It gets better.

Other people arrive.  A woman I call Chatty and The Sister.

Then a relatively fit woman comes in. 

Now remember, if you did WW and lost weight, you can be a lifetime member.

You can go to meetings for free forever. (You have to follow some rules…)

I have no idea if Fit Girl is a lifetime member.  It’s not really any of my business.

The Bitch (to Chatty): Who’s that?

Chatty: She only  has 10 pounds to lose.

The Bitch: If I looked like that, I wouldn’t be here.

Fit Girl (to Chatty): This is why it took me 6 months to actually come to a meeting.

The Bitch: What’s that?

Chatty: This is why she didn’t come before…

And my personal favorite…

Chatty: I started going to the gym… but I put on a half pound. But I’ll see what happens next week…

The Bitch: See, that’s why I don’t walk or exercise.  I don’t want to gain.

Really?  Come on. 

The Bitch needs to get a grip.  Perhaps if she spent some of the time on herself that she is spending making other people irritated and self-conscious, she’d actually see that scale go down…

• So, I’ve got this friend….
• Am I supposed to think it’s clean?
• Jesus Whistle
• Off the Squad
• Google Chat Status, Volume 12